Creative Compulsion

All creatives strive to make a living from their work.

I am often asked why I continue to write, record, and produce music. I am reminded of odds of being “discovered” and that I am losing time and money by continuing to create. It is true that I do not turn a profit from each album I produce, let alone break even. In every case, the amount of time, energy, and money is never recuperated.

Creatives are compelled to tell stories, paint pictures, capture images, sing songs. We are compelled to share them with everyone. We often feel that our work goes unnoticed and unheard. Yet we continue to produce our work.

The album Winter was scheduled for a 2021 release. The pandemic delayed the production of the album for nearly three years. I grew restless waiting for the day we could start producing the album. Events in my life increased the urgency to release this album and share the story with others. I needed to tell this story.

In February of this year, I had the chance to share the story in a live performance. The work required to perform the album live was greater than effort and time it took to record it. All the members of the band sacrificed significant parts of their lives to present the album.

This was not about fame or profit. It was about telling a story that was important to each of us.

Emails arrived days after the show. Some thanked me for helping them make sense of all the feelings they experienced after a recent loss. Others were less alone knowing that someone else felt the same way they felt after a loss. One individual said they were finally able to let go of a lost one.

We create because we are compelled to share.

musicians on stage with dancers on platforms

Reflections

It has been just over a month since the release of Winter. I still find myself recovering mentally and physically from the event. The months leading up to the concert were filled with rehearsals and show logistics. Quiet moments were few. The band gathered on March 10th to watch the concert video before the official release on the 11th. It was the first time since the concert that all of us were in the room together.

The next morning, I reflected on the evening and the group. As much as I missed being on stage, I realized what I missed most was spending time with these wonderful people. There is magic when people gather and create art. We each pour pieces of ourselves into the work and the result always exceeds what we could have done alone and what we ever imagined. The album and concert would not have sounded and looked as good without the band.

It is rare to find a group of people that you connect with on a deep level. We can go months without seeing or talking to each other, but the minute we gather, it is as if we were picking up a conversation we had yesterday. It is amazing to be able to create music with these people. We are critical of each other’s work and expect the best performance; not for any personal gain, but to deliver the best product collectively. We have each other’s backs, trust, respect, and love.

I miss the rehearsals and the time making music. I miss the banter, the jokes, the laughter. I miss the process of starting with chaos and working towards unity. I suppose the journey continues to be more important than the destination.

There are hours upon hours of rehearsal footage to watch and perhaps I will assemble behind the scenes footage to share.

If you have not watched the Winter Album release concert, it is available on YouTube.

The album, Winter, is available on all streaming platforms.